Wherever perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun. Perfectionism is not about healthy striving, which you see all the time in successful leaders, it’s not about trying to set goals and being the best we can be, perfectionism is basically a cognitive behavioral process that says if I look perfect, work perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid shame, ridicule, and criticism. It’s a defense mechanism.
So, I’ve been waiting for someone to explain this extremely simple concept to me my entire life.
I hate being reminded that I’m doing it wrong, because I already know that. What I need is a fucking cheat sheet on how to snap out of it.